Slurping With the Enemy

24 Sep 07

In the name (of course) of research…

I went into Starbucks the other day. Specifically (for those who enjoy such details) the one just outside the entrance to The Mall in Stratford, East London. I had an Iced Caramel Macchiato. And… erm… other than the fact that a little under half the cup was filled with frozen lumps of water (otherwise known as “ice” (as suggested by the “Iced” part of the name))… it was… well, you know… quite nice. And as for the ambience… dare I say it?… also quite… erm… you know… nice…

Yes, I know, Starbucks is an evil, conglomerate mega-corporation, whose dark Satanic tendrils worm their slimy way into every unsuspecting high street, town and shopping mall who has had the misfortune of falling into the path of their inexorable, globe-enveloping mission of converting all they touch to the hydra-like multi-headed causes of Uniformity, Caffeine and Pointless Little Wooden Sticks…

But I was on a family visit! And everyone else wanted to go to Starbucks! So what else could I do?! Okay, perhaps I could have stood my ground, lived by my principles and point-blank refused to enter this sickly sweet Den of Mephistopheles – insisting instead on finding a Heavenly Haven of Tea… but I’d just had a long, multi-trained journey from Birmingham to London, after having endured one arse of a tiring week, so I wanted a strong jolt of caffeine (which – yes, I admit it! – sometimes tea just doesn’t provide)… and… as I believe I have mentioned… everyone else wanted to go to Starbucks!

Anyway, like I said, it was all in the name of research…

Because if I hadn’t entered the aforementioned establishment and forced myself to sample their frothy (can an Iced Caramel Macchiato be said to be “frothy”?), syrupy, over-iced, over-priced wares, what else would I have said in a piece entitled “Slurping With the Enemy”? Remember, this is a family blog…



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