30 June 2010
I am, as I write this sentence (but perhaps not by the time I finish it (especially if I insert numerous bracketed ‘asides’ (such as herewith (and… well you get the idea)))) presently on my way to the train station, to catch the 8:26 to Kidderminster. Yes, here I am, on the second sentence and still on my way… nearly there… about to step onto the platform… there! At which point, I feel the need to add a non-bracketed ‘aside,’ to whit a question which has occurred to me frequently throughout my writing career, which has never been satisfactorily answered; to… um… ‘whit’…
If a sentence is punctuated by one or more straggles of dots (to whit: “…”), does this pluralise said sentence, by way of splitting it into two or more sentences? I suppose it depends on whether or not each ‘straggle’ is followed by a capital letter (of the sentence-starting variety (rather than in, for example, ‘BBC’ (although one could, of course, begin a sentence with ‘BBC’ (for example: ‘BBC is an acronym for British Broadcasting Corporation’), but let us not further complicate things by expounding on such possibilities – oh God, how many closed brackets do I need now?…)))))… that’ll do.
Where was I?
Well now I am off the train and walking towards the school where, it being Wednesday, I am volunteering for the day. And I still feel quite serene! Despite all the punctuational ‘hoo-har’ and so forth and suchlike above (my predictive text (being as I am composing the ‘draft’ of this piece on my mobile phone) doesn’t like the word ‘suchlike’ (being as it is, I expect, meant to be two words) and ‘predicts’ that I actually want to write the word, ‘quailile’… how lovely! Or perhaps not (I must look up what it means (if indeed it is a real word (or part of a word or whatever (gahhh! Too many brackets again! Here’s a few to close…)))))))))
What was I on about?
(as it were)
(a Stephen King-esque moment of punctuation there)
I feel serene (with no further need of encompassing quotation marks (and less of the brackets, if you please! (…thank you…))) despite having been awake for… how long is it now?…
Over five hours! At only 8:50am!
And what was the point of this piece?
Well, you know, just that it’s funny (or something), that’s all…