Unpublished Works pt1

29 Dec 2005

The mellifluous tones of the nightingale.


“Who are those loutish larrikins, Larry?”

But not before the cloud has risen
And the dogs have scratched their feet
Upon the shore of fried onions and peas.

30 Dec 2005

The Sapphic hegemony of my dreams.

UW0102_sapphic rainbow

On the first day, I am presented with
The grimoire of the ‘Rules of Conduct’;
This sorcery that turns the wheels, and feeds

31 Dec 2005

The spaghetti-eating bathos of the
Students in their shared accommodation.


1 Jan 2006

The raconteurs of old
Told tales of hidden gold.

UW0104_skeleton gold

The gentleman was avuncular,
Who had a jewel carbuncular.

2 Jan 2006

The salubrity of the air
Of the celebrity’s lair.

UW0105_aguilera house

3 Jan 2006

When people say “That old chestnut”… which old chestnut do they mean?

UW0106_old chestnut

4 Jan 2006

Poetry topics:
towels, spanners, handbags, sausages, rice, Barley Cup, flobbly burgers, muesli, shoes, stubbing one’s toe, poppy pencil, chins, bottoms, “my girlfriend”, babypoo, dribble, sweat, general smelliness, flatulence, skinpores, rancid things, rude words, Jonathan Cainer, hard skin on your feet (and the peeling thereof), sex, flat-pack nipples (and furniture), jumpers, families (eh?!), handy hints (‘n’tips), facial hair, nasal hair, noisy neighbours, catpoo

UW0107_skin pore man

Tony Blair, Yassar Arrafat, Stephen King, Germaine Greer, Alison Moyet, Malcolm X, Simon Le Bon, Ray Winstone, Gillian McKeith, Suzi Quatro, C.S. Lewis, William Shakespeare, Nigel Harman, Debra Messing, Stephen Fry, Father Christmas, Ricky Gervais, Nigel Planer, Bill Gates



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